05 Mar TIPS FOR PARENTS WITH KIDS STARTING SECONDARY SCHOOL

TIPS FOR PARENTS WITH KIDS STARTING SECONDARY SCHOOL

Establish a routine

Before the holiday ends, start to establish a routine with your kids from now. Every family is different so do what suits your circumstances in establishing a workable routine during the day. From having breakfast and getting out to school on time; when and where homework would be done; dinner and bedtime. This applies to the weekend too when they will have homework.

Help them organize themselves

Teaching kids to be independent this holiday would go a long way in helping them settle on time when they resume newly to secondary school, where their level of independence is expected to be higher (whether your kids will be in the boarding house or not). Being in the right place, at the right time, with the right books or gear, can be quite a challenge during the first few weeks. You can help them by giving organizational tasks around the house, for example, tidying, sorting, grouping and timely arrangement of their personal belongings and also introducing them to certain house chores that will be required in boarding school such as washing of their clothes, tidying their room etc.

Redraw parental boundaries

This is another huge step on a child’s journey from parental dependence to independence. Now would be a good time to ensure you are letting go a bit more. For your kids now, the influence of peers is going to become much more dominant and that your position as parents on anything will be challenged. Take time to listen to their case and then explain the reasons for your “yes” or your “no”.

Talk to them about secondary school

Sit down to talk to your kids about how they feel about going to secondary school, what expectations they may have, what fears they may harbor, which of their friends will be going to the same secondary school. Let them know what secondary school is all about, the subjects they will likely take, what would be expected if they were in the boarding house. Alley their fears and strategize with them on how to overcome fears or challenges about being new, missing home, trying to make friends or being good friends, taking care of themselves etc. Remember, you shouldn’t assume the school will do it thoroughly. If the school has organized an Open House or Orientation Day, ensure you attend with your kids (you may even ask your kids to write down questions before attending).

Stock up on food

They would need a nutritious breakfast and more food than they may think for both break times to sustain them through what is a much longer and more demanding school day.

Take an interest in homework

How closely you watch over homework will depend on the age of your child, how independent she is, and how well she does in school. Even if reading their text books is not your style, conversations about what they’re learning helps to keep you in touch and reinforces it for them.

Ask what the teacher expects. At the start of the school year, find out what kinds of assignments will be given and how the teacher wants you involved. Some teachers only want you to make sure the assignment is completed. Others want parents to go over the homework and point out mistakes.

Check to see that assignments are started and finished on time. If you aren’t home when the homework is finished, look it over when you get home.

Be there to listen

Building self-esteem, feeling understood and strengthening of parent-child bond are just a few of the benefits of listening to your kids. Keep the channels of communication open and avoid grilling them on every aspect of their first few days – no matter how keen you are to know how they got on. They may be too exhausted to talk, so don’t take crankiness as a sign that things aren’t going well.

Let your children know you are there for them. If you listen to them and respect their decisions, it improves the likelihood that they will in turn listen to you and perhaps, accept your advice.

Build a relationship with the school

As a parent, you know your child better than anyone else does. Your child’s teachers will want to get to know him too.

When you have a strong and respectful relationship with your child’s school and teachers, you’re in a good position to give them the information they need to help your child get the most out of his education. Take every opportunity to attend information evenings, parent-teacher meetings, social events and get involved with the parents’ association.

You and your child’s teachers can work together to support your child’s learning and wellbeing.

Get to know their friends

Making clear their friends are welcome in your house is a great way to get to know who your child is hanging around with and to glean a little information about what’s going on. With more friends and a wider range of interests and activities, your child may begin to spend less time at home. By knowing your child’s close friends, you will learn a lot about your child.

However, as a parent, lay down some ground rules if you are both out working all day.

Allow downtime

While you may want your child to take every opportunity that extra-curricular activities offer, do make sure they are not doing too much.  Creating regular and frequent time for the children to settle down and unwind is essential to keep them in balance. Space doesn’t mean filling time with mind-numbing activities; it means giving the child a time and place to unwind.

Keep it in perspective

Gone are the days when parents think school is everything and nothing should matter more than high grades. Today, learning should be life-long, and a child’s health – mental and physical – must remain paramount to all parents, caregivers and stakeholders.